Friday, September 5, 2008

Too busy to share, too busy to help!

We keep our life so busy. Sometimes it is hard to fit in extras like serving others. My sister Kimberly is in the hospital again - you can read part of her story in the post the brevity of life. When I first realized that I needed to go be with her, the biggest thing holding me back was the imposition I was placing on others so I can serve my sister. And even while I am here, it is hanging over my heart like a dull shadow.
I have left my hectic life to be sitting in a hospital room having a great visit with my sister. I have had a great evening playing games with her kids. Two things are hard for me to accept -One is that I am enjoying myself so much while others are having to go out of their way for me. The other is that I am haunted by the cold fact that I have not taken the time to have a game night with MY kids in SO long, despite their attempts to plan one. And our last game night, I caught myself stealing away every spare moment to clean house and tidy up. Did they really have me like my nieces had me tonight? I am so relaxed and non stressed just being with these precious girls, away from my busy life. I feel like I am getting to know each of their personalities so well just through this one night. I have had so many little arms thrown around my waist and heads rested on my shoulders. There is such strength in that. How can I take that back to my house? It could be revolutionary.
It is hard for me to accept that so many people are having to help me so I can help someone else. I am sorting this out, but it seems I am not that generous if I am holding back so fiercly to the reigns that no one should help me. The reigns of pride and selfishness (ungenerous).
My nieces wanted to lay under the stars in the front yard before bed tonight. It was in the middle of a subdivision in Houston, so I think we could see about 4 stars. Something so funny happened. Angela, 5, was pointing and excitedly exclaimed that she saw where Santa lives, she saw the North Star. Evelyn, 7, chimes in, me too! me too! The North Star is the brightest star, and that's where Santa lives! (For those of you who don't get it - north star instead of north pole)

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